


Giving Up

by 27summer



Category: Glee
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-30
Updated: 2015-03-30
Packaged: 2018-03-20 10:20:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3646665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/27summer/pseuds/27summer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Quinn finally tells Rachel why they haven’t spoken in years. Post Season Six Finale.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Giving Up

Once they had finished singing, Quinn made her way through the crowd, trying to get away before she had to talk to anyone. Santana and Brittany would understand why she had to leave and they talked nearly every week anyway. Mercedes might feel slighted but she’d talk to her later. And Puck- well, since they broke up, it was better that they not speak. And she couldn’t imagine anyone else would want to talk to her. She hadn’t exactly kept touch.

“Hey! Hey, Quinn, wait!”

Hearing the voice of the person she most wanted to avoid, Quinn quickened her steps. She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t put a smile on her face and pretend.

“Quinn!” Rachel caught up to her, grabbing her arm and spinning her around. “Are you leaving already? Mr. Schuester’s set up a reception to celebrate.”

“I- I really can’t stay,” Quinn said apologetically. She hated disappointing Rachel but she couldn’t take spending time with her, either.

“But- but it’s been so long since I’ve seen you. Since anyone’s seen you.” Rachel looked at her in disappointment.

“I only showed up today because Mr. Schue ran into my mom and mentioned this was happening. I’m actually leaving tonight.” Quinn couldn’t believe that her one visit to Lima this year overlapped with all of the Glee Club coming home. She had the worst luck ever. Of course, it probably wasn’t luck. Santana could’ve told her about this but she probably wanted to force this conversation so that Quinn would get over it already.

“You- you don’t visit anyone, Quinn. Nobody’s talked to you.” Rachel frowned at her.

“I talk to Brittany and Santana. And occasionally Mercedes.” Quinn cringed as Rachel’s face fell. She didn’t mean to hurt her.

“I thought we were friends. I don’t understand why we drifted apart,” Rachel said, her face a picture of confusion.

“Most people lose touch with their high school friends. We’re in different places in our lives,” Quinn explained. She hoped Rachel would accept that answer. She didn’t want to make clear exactly why she had avoided her. It would only make Rachel feel awkward and Quinn feel horrible.

“That’s not true. We’re both actresses,” Rachel pointed out. “Why don’t we talk anymore?”

“It’s- Just drop it, Rachel. This isn’t helping anything,” Quinn snapped, losing control of her emotions. “Besides, you’ve got plenty of friends. And a husband. You don’t need me.”

“Quinn, I- I’ve always wanted to be your friend. Why are you pushing me away?”

“Oh, Rachel. Please don’t do this.” Quinn walked away, leaning against the wall. She was rapidly close to telling Rachel everything.

“No. Explain it to me. None of this makes sense. And it’s like the more success I’ve had, the less you’ve talked to me. Are you jealous?” Rachel asked, following Quinn across the dark hallway.

“Oh!” Quinn laughed. “I wish that were it. I wish I was just being petty. I wish the problem was something I could just get over and we could be friends and I could have you in my life again.”

“Why can’t you? What’s the problem?” Rachel demanded, getting right into Quinn’s face.

“Because I’m in love with you!” Quinn burst out before she could stop herself.

“What?” Rachel took a step back, shock all over her face.

“I can’t be around you because I’m in love with you,” Quinn said quietly. Now that Rachel knew, she wasn’t going to back down from it.

“Since when?”

“A long time. I know for sure since Senior Year, when you and Finn got engaged.”

“I- How- I don’t know what to say to you,” Rachel said softly.

“I know you weren’t expecting this.” Quinn sighed. “I don’t mean to spring this on you.”

“How come you never said anything?” Rachel asked.

“Are you kidding me?” Quinn scoffed.

“No! If you’ve had these feelings, why not talk to me? Why hide it?”

“Rachel, there’s always been a guy with you. Why would I put myself out there knowing I would be rejected?”

“I’m sorry.” Rachel walked over to her. “I’m just stunned.”

“I know.” Quinn shook her head. “I never wanted to put you in this position.”

“You were never going to tell me?”

“I’d thought about it. I would work up my nerve and then you’d be seeing someone. You- There was never a time when I had the chance. And then, I graduated from Yale and I made plans. I was going to move to New York,” Quinn said.

“You were?” Rachel asked with surprised eyes.

“Uh-huh.” Quinn nodded. “And you and Jesse were engaged. I’d lost my chance.”

“Quinn-”

“No.” Quinn held up her hand. “Don’t feel sorry for me.”

“I didn’t know.”

“It’s not your fault. I was the one who was hanging on to a pathetic dream that I could never have.” Quinn closed her eyes. She felt so embarrassed. What kind of person stayed hung up on someone who never showed any interest? She was such a loser.

“You’re not pathetic,” Rachel whispered, her hand coming up to stroke Quinn’s cheek.

“I am.” Quinn opened her eyes and looked at Rachel. “Do you understand why I had to stop talking to you?”

“Yes. You were protecting yourself.”

“I was.” Quinn stared at Rachel, her heart filling up with happiness despite herself. It was so easy to get lost in Rachel’s beauty. “I had to take myself out of the situation before it completely destroyed me.”

“That’s- that’s healthy. I’m glad you’re taking care of you.” Rachel stepped back from her. “I’m sorry for pushing you.”

“Don’t be. I never wanted to hurt you; I just couldn’t take it anymore.”

“That’s okay. I understand.”

“I really do want you to be happy, Rachel.” Quinn smiled remorsefully. “Even if I’m not the one who gets to be with you.”

“I am happy. I’ve got almost everything I’ve ever wanted.” Rachel forced a smile back on her face as she realized what she had said. “I didn’t mean to say that.”

“No, Rachel. You should be proud of your life. A Tony, a husband, a child. You’ve got it all.”

“A child? Quinn, that’s not-”

“I know we don’t talk but I saw you pregnant at the Tony Awards. And I can’t talk about it. I’m glad you're happy but I don’t want to hear about your fabulous life.” Quinn took a step away. “Please drop it.”

“Okay.” Rachel reached out as if to touch her before thinking better of it.

“I really am so proud of you, Rach. You’re doing everything I always knew you could.” Quinn pressed her lips to Rachel’s cheek, savoring being close to her. “Even if I’m not there with you, I’ll be watching.”

“I hope you find someone who makes you happy.” Rachel looked at Quinn, a shaky smile on her face.

“I- I hope so, too.” Quinn didn’t think that there would ever be a day that she didn’t love Rachel but she wished it would happen. “I’m trying. I’d like to be in your life, I just can’t right now.”

“That’s- Maybe one day.”

“Yeah. One day.” Quinn leaned down, kissing Rachel gently. It was probably a mistake but she needed to have at least one kiss with her. “Good bye, Rachel.”

“Good bye.” Rachel stared at Quinn, looking slightly stunned.

Blowing out a breath, Quinn forced herself to turn and walk away. It was over. Maybe now that Rachel knew, she could finally move on. Because that slight little flicker of hope had finally blown out. Rachel knew and she still didn’t want her. There was nothing left. It was time for Quinn to give up.


End file.
